Death and Dying

You probably heard that when you die suddenly the film of your life is being played in front of your eyes, where you can see yourself and all that you lived though clearer. It is the same for anything that dies in your life, and not different for your relationships, if you are attentive and open to listening.

How This Dying Process Can Look Like For The Relationship?

I could not believe that just a simple but clear decision that it is time to part can ignite a powerful closing process even if it was my own decision.

Stage of Self-examination


Suddenly various scenes start to flow freely into your consciousness, stripped of ornaments and excuses. You see clearly your failures, your own conditioned behaviors. All moments where you were not yourself because maybe fear of rejection or abandonment was making you behave unnaturally, being dishonest, not setting clear boundaries. Or on the other hand, maybe you dared to ask for what was important to you. You see when you lacked compassion or were too harsh, or when you acted like a child lost in helplessness or other unpleasant emotions. I am sure you would act differently if you could. You would probably know what to do now, given this perspective. But those moments have passed. It is gone. What is done can not be undone. You can only ask forgiveness even just in your heart.

Going Through Hell and Still Feeling

Then you also see all of the mistakes and misbehavior of the other, without making it look better or trying to explain them. They are just them at the front of your eyes. It might be painful, but do not turn away! You see clearly when they have been dishonest or hurtful. Where there were problems, coldness, and judgment. Where they might have lacked awareness or compassion or because of God-knows-why (I bet fears again) acted unnaturally, or caused you pain. But you also see their humanness, their weaknesses, their longings, and how your behaviors were often hooked up together. How maybe waiting for a breath instead of reacting strongly would have been enough to take a completely different route. Now it is too late to change it. You might feel compassion and forgive. Hopefully, you can.

Anger, despair, resentment, sadness, disappointment… all this and more are present in those initial processes and it is good. Let yourself feel all especially if you tried to deny any of this before.

Remembering Heaven

Then all the pictures of beauty and tenderness flow through you, acts of care and love. All happy moments are right there when there was synchronicity harmony and indescribable beauty. All that brings you joy, that uplifts you, and that makes your heart swell and overflow with gratitude. So lucky you were to have those experiences! You are so thankful! Your soul soars…

Part of it is recognition of what love is.

Love That Is Always There

Then comes love. When did you feel it first? Maybe long before you actually came together… You remember all those moments when love was present… All those situations when you felt it when you could clearly feel it from the other, when it was just there like a space of two hearts that melted together. You expand and lift even more… All your defenses disappear. Maybe you disappear into that feeling of oneness, the feeling of love that is all and everywhere. And this love is bigger than your small self, it embraces you, enfolds you, and raises you up above the distinctions and differences that might have divided you. Your heart overflows and love is remembered.

Resurrection

Astoundingly in my experience, and I have been through it a few times, this process takes in its essence three days. And at times it feels like suddenly part of your soul is gone. Sometimes you are suddenly lighter and free and letting go seems not so difficult anymore. Other times it is just acknowledgment and purification of what is blinded by the defenses you haven’t seen so clearly before. This purification helps you just to grow into who you in your core are…

For some, it might be a starting process of letting go. Straight after the decision, the fact of separation, the death of the beloved. It also might be a final process ending a long and painful period of grieving. And other times it might be a pick experience of the crisis that helps you to grow into the new stage of the relationship.

Preparation For The Death

I believe it also helps us grow and prepare to leave this body one day. I have a feeling it looks pretty much the same just much much much more intense If such a process spontaneously happens to you, let it flow through you and show you the mirror. It may be about anything in life that you lost, a pet, your work, kids leaving home, or anything else – do not resist! Take what you’ve learned from this process with you into the life that you have left… for every moment is precious, every experience unique, every breath is a new chance and no heart-beat can be reversed.

Assisted Transition

If you feel like you need some support along that process, I can accompany you as a soul guide and healer. We work online gently through inner felt sense and use the guidance that the Soul offers us through the body in its infinite wisdom.

I invite you to the transformational journey

In some cases very helpful is emotional body dearmouring.